Where is the hickey?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
