I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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