RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
how does that bad decision feel?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
