if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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