i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
