I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
This baby is an asshole
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
