Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
