The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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