Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
