u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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