nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
