so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
