I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
