Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize