Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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