If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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