i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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