Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
