did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
