She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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