...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Send help, water and tortillas.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
