drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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