who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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