Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Ketchup is God's man juice
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
