i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
