she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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