Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize