Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
