I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I touched a dick in church today
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
