So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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