i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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