so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
