He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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