Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I'm passing your future prison.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
