Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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