found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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