I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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