Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Randomize
