remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
