dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
