dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
