his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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