you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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