I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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