I think I died a long time ago.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
