I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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