the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
