somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
