didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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