I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
