we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
