so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
