so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
