so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
