You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
