My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
