i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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