I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize