Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
