But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
