Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize