i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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