highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
