Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
