so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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