I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize