Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
